


Three Geeks Walk into a Bar...

by Orithain, Rina9294



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 18:23:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1084218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orithain/pseuds/Orithain, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rina9294/pseuds/Rina9294
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bar brawl leads to a new relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Geeks Walk into a Bar...

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted August 2006.  
> Much belated response to Huntress’ challenge back in December (2005) about the SGC soldiers verbally putting down the Atlantis geeks in a bar back on Earth.

John Sheppard walked out of the briefing room at the SGC, shaking his head and wondering why he’d ever agreed to accompany Rodney on this little head-hunting trip of his. And that was what it was, which was why Elizabeth had very happily stayed back on Atlantis and left Rodney’s safe return to John.

" _Keep anyone from killing him, John. Some of the scientists he wants are already in sensitive positions in their own countries, and Rodney has a habit of riding roughshod over other people’s interests."_

‘Sensitive positions’?! John snorted. Neither Rodney nor Elizabeth had deigned to mention that one of the scientists in question was the much-beloved only daughter of an African warlord! John had just had the dubious pleasure of sitting through a meeting involving Gen. Landry telling Rodney why he couldn’t have what he wanted... with the obvious results.

He looked over his shoulder at the smugly smirking scientist. "If you start a war, I’m really going to hate you. And I need a drink. Let’s go round up the others and go enjoy a real Earth bar while we’re here."

"Are you sure I won’t start a riot there?" Rodney sniffed, wanting to glare at John over the comment but too smug over his coup to be annoyed with the colonel.

"Since I doubt you’re planning to steal any of the waitresses away, I think we should be safe."

"Considering they’re more than likely peroxided bimbos, no, thank you." Rodney’s nose wrinkled at the thought.

"How was Siberia, Rodney?" Sam Carter asked sweetly from behind him, making John swallow a snicker.

Rodney turned his glower on her. "Oh, that’s quite amusing, and what would you call a bottle-blonde who worked in a bar?"

"A woman doing her job to make ends meet." Sam shrugged. "Or do you think you’d survive without all the non-scientists of the universe?"

"Of course, though the opposite certainly isn’t true."

Sam rolled her eyes. "I somehow never saw you as being able to grow, harvest and prepare your own food, but I suppose you could surprise me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a mission." She slipped around them and headed toward the locker room to get her gear, leaving John shaking his head at Rodney.

"Yeah, I really see a deathless romance there, Rodney."

"It’s called flirting, Colonel; you should recognize it as you do it enough."

John stared at him. "Rodney, _I_ flirt more with you than Col. Carter does."

Rodney stared back, for a moment silent, then shook his head and chuckled. "You flirt with anything that breathes."

"I have standards!"

"Colonel, I’ve seen you flirt with foliage!"

"I have not! I stick to my own species! At least what I think is my species," he amended, remembering a certain Ancient.

Rodney only sniffed disdainfully.

"Oh, come on, let’s round up our group and go get that drink," John said, not wanting to get into that discussion. He never won.

~*~

"I didn’t realize this would be grunt central when we agreed to this," Rodney murmured as he, Radek and David Parrish crowded around a table, eyeing the roomful of drunk and rowdy off-duty soldiers.

Lorne and Sheppard exchanged glances before John said, "Neither did I, actually." Both officers sat down where they could see the rest of the room, and after a moment Laura Cadman did as well, leaving the seats opposite them for the three scientists.

"I wasn’t commenting on you three—" Rodney began.

"I am sure they know this, Rodney; now sit," Radek ordered as he did just that.

Parrish sat down as well, next to the major, leaving Rodney the only one still standing and all five of them looking at him.

"Well, I wasn’t!" Rodney huffed, dropping into the seat between John and Radek and shaking his head.

Cadman chuckled and leaned over to pat his arm. "We know, Rodney, but it’s fun to watch you sputter."

"It keeps me going on long missions," John agreed with a grin.

"Gee, and David just thinks up plant names on ours," Lorne pouted.

Parrish glared at him. "Shut up, Evan, or I’ll think of names for you!"

"Evan, is it?" Rodney asked Radek with an amused smile.

"It seems that way." Radek eyed their fellow scientist curiously, and Parrish scowled back.

"That _is_ his name!"

"Well, you don’t see me calling the colonel ‘John’, do you?"

"And why is that?" John wanted to know. "You call Teyla and Ronon by their first names."

Rodney looked at him strangely. "I don’t know; neither of them call you John either, you know."

"Teyla does. Sometimes. As often as she calls you Rodney. And _I_ call _you_ Rodney."

"So I should call you Rodney?"

"Perhaps we should have a drink," Radek suggested.

"I think I need one," John sighed, and both of the other officers nodded vigorously.

"We’ll get this round," Rodney announced, Radek and David nodding in agreement.

"Trying to get us drunk?" Laura teased.

"Which would mean we would have to carry you out to the car," Radek mused.

"I’m not throwing my back out doing that!" Rodney exclaimed, even as he waved at the waitress.

"I thought you’d just take advantage of us right here," John snorted.

"Excuse me?" Rodney asked.

"Guess not, sir," Lorne said. "Better luck next time."

"We need drinks, lots and lots of drinks," Rodney informed the waitress.

"And perhaps some food as well," Radek suggested.

"Beer and wings good for everyone?" Laura asked.

"Sure, if you throw in some fries," John said.

Parrish leaned in. "Hot good for everyone?"

Rodney started to comment, then glowered at Radek when the other man kicked him in the shin.

"We’ll get you extra water," John offered soothingly.

"Milk or bread are better," Lorne offered.

Radek nodded. "This is true."

"See, we’re all looking out for you," John said cheerfully while Laura snickered into her beer.

"Why?" Rodney moaned.

"Because you cannot look out for yourself," Radek said gleefully.

"Dr. Z," Laura chuckled, "you might want to remember that Rodney spends a lot of time... away from home. He knows how to handle a gun."

"Ahh, but he does not have one here, does he?"

"I’ll find one!" Rodney growled.

"Try to restrain your homicidal impulses," John chuckled. "I can suggest more interesting ways to go astray if you’re turning over a new leaf."

"And don’t _you_ go talking about different kinds of leaves he could turn over," Lorne laughed, pointing a finger at Dr. Parrish.

"Fig," David retorted, smirking, while all three soldiers groaned and Dr. Zelenka threw a tortilla chip at him.

"For that, you can buy the next round, Dr. Parrish!" Rodney ordered.

"It was worth it," Parrish said with a chuckle. "Who knew soldiers could be such prudes?"

That statement produced a rash of very vocal denials from the soldiers at the table while Rodney and Radek sat there and grinned.

"I thought I recognized that annoying voice." A Marine sergeant stood up nearby, glaring at Rodney. "Didn’t anyone get rid of you yet?"

Lorne, Cadman and Sheppard all stiffened, suddenly cold eyes cutting toward the Marine, who ignored them. None of them were in uniform, so he assumed they were more scientists.

"I’m the proverbial bad penny; I just keep turning up," Rodney answered snidely without turning to look at the other man.

"Don’t you have somewhere else to be?" John suggested, narrowed hazel gaze intent on the soldier who had no idea what he was getting himself into.

"Nope, but I think all of you do," the hulking Marine answered. "Well, except for Red there, she can stay."

One dark eyebrow rose. "So you’re saying that we’re not welcome here, Sergeant?"

"We don’t like geeks," the Marine sneered.

"That’s Col. Geek to you, Sergeant," John barked, suddenly snapping upright.

"Sure it is. Like you’re a Marine."

"Actually, Col. Sheppard’s Air Force, but Lt. Cadman and I are Marines," Lorne growled as the two of them rose to their feet as well.

"You’re doing well, Sergeant," Cadman said with mock friendliness. "You’ve pissed off a colonel, a major and a lieutenant. I’m sure we could find a captain and general too if you want to make a clean sweep."

"And I’m sure these ‘geeks’ could find a few ways to make your life miserable as well," Rodney snapped.

"Really good going, Sergeant," John observed lazily. "You’ve managed to piss off three officers—not good; a botanist—do you have any idea how many things he knows that you’re going to be allergic to? Even worse! And not one but two scarily brilliant physicists who play with nuclear weapons for fun and make a habit of defeating entire races. Kiss your ass goodbye!"

"And I wonder if Gen. Landry has any idea of how the people in his command feel about the people that keep the program running," Rodney commented.

"I do not think he will like it," Radek added.

"Like the general would listen to a bunch of pansies," the sergeant sneered, ignoring his friends, who were starting to look uneasy and trying to pull him away.

John and Evan Lorne looked at each other in disbelief. "Pansies?" But it was Laura Cadman who stood up and punched the sergeant.

That punch was the beginning of a cascade reaction that ended up with the Atlantis team at the center of a brawl involving a good portion of the off-duty soldiers in the bar.

"Why does it always get physical?" Rodney asked, ducking one punch and managing to hit a soldier who was holding Lorne’s arms behind his back.

Lorne shrugged. "It’s easier. And they’ll understand what we’re telling them. Especially when you clock a guy like that," he added, sounding impressed.

"They aren’t much compared to the Wraith!" Radek exclaimed, ducking before snarling when one of the soldiers tried to grab Cadman in a headlock.

Lorne and Sheppard, who’d both seen Zelenka’s reaction to being off planet, exchanged laughing glances.

"Radek, honey, that’s very sweet, but I can protect myself," Laura told him, ducking and kicking the other soldier’s feet out from under him.

"Radek _honey_?" Rodney asked incredulously.

Parrish nodded before ducking a punch. "That’s what I heard."

"Some of us prefer not to waste our lives and actually go after what we want," Radek said smugly.

"You and _Cadman_?" Rodney asked, wide-eyed both from shock and from getting punched in the stomach during his distraction.

Radek smirked. "Laura is a beautiful, intelligent woman. Who wouldn’t want her? And unlike you two, who seem content to admire your soldiers from afar, I get to have her in my bed."

Both Rodney and David had to goggle at Radek for that, which ended up with both of them getting hit in the face, much to the anger of ‘their’ soldiers, who proceeded to pound the attackers into the floor.

That seemed to be the beginning of the end, and the fight gradually tapered off with the group from Atlantis the clear winners, at least in that they were still there and no one was bothering them. People righted chairs and tables and returned to their seats, yelling for new drinks, and the bartender shook his head, clearly accustomed to this sort of thing. He hadn’t even bothered calling the cops, knowing from experience that the fight would be hard and fast and then everything would go back to normal. And the combatants would each leave twenty bucks in the jar by the door on their way out, covering any damages.

The Atlanteans sat back down at their table, briefly mourning the loss of their beer until another pitcher arrived, and then John and Evan eyed their respective team mates. "So what’s this about admiring from afar?" John asked, proving that he’d still been paying attention despite his own battles, and Lorne made a similarly interrogative noise, eyebrows raised as he looked at Parrish.

"P-pardon me?" Rodney stammered, his eyes widening, ignoring the way Radek snickered even as he scooted his chair closer to Cadman’s.

The hazel eyes pinned him to his seat. "Zelenka seems to think that he and Cadman aren’t the only potential military-scientific pair at this table. Care to elaborate?"

Rodney winced and shifted in his chair, looking away before turning his gaze back toward John. "Dr. Zelenka would be correct in that hypothesis," he said stiffly."

"Do you really think I let _anyone_ name new species?" David sighed to Lorne.

"Oh, thank God," John breathed. "And what a hell of a place to finally have this conversation, when we can’t do anything about it," he grumbled.

"Tell me about it!" Evan agreed fervently, trying not to stare hungrily at Parrish.

"Well, you could have said something!" Rodney hissed.

"So could you!" John glared. "Military here!" He ignored the virtually identical conversation happening between Lorne and Parrish.

"We need popcorn," Radek murmured to Laura.

"Just goes to show you that Rodney’s not the smartest one at the table," she laughed before leaning in to give him a kiss.

"That is so unfair," Lorne grumbled. "If I did that, there would be a riot."

"There is a cheap motel next door," Parrish offered.

"Get two rooms!" John ordered.

"Three!" Radek corrected.

Lorne tossed some money on the table to cover the beer they hadn’t drunk and stood up.

"Oh my god, I’m in a bad movie!" Rodney groaned although he was moving as quickly as the others.

Laura chuckled and slid her arm around Radek’s waist, leaning into him as he returned the gesture. "Yeah, but I bet the ending’ll be great."

"I can guarantee it," John promised, holding the door open to let the others out. "Move, people; we have someplace to be."

"And some people to do," Parrish called back from up ahead of them.

John’s grin widened as quickly as Lorne’s. "Damn right," both officers chorused while Radek and Laura walked along, smiling at each other.

"Are you sure that place is legal?" Rodney asked as he followed the others. "It looks very illicit to me; I bet they don’t even change the sheets between clients."

John snorted. "Why not stop worrying about that and concentrate on what you’re going to do once you have me alone?"

"I—" Rodney began before shutting his mouth and nodding sharply. "Yes, you’re right."

Unable to resist, John smirked. "Of course I am."

"And that’s our cue to get out of here before the explosion," Evan muttered to Tim. "Let’s get that room."

"You’re on your own with this one, Rodney," Laura called as she and Radek followed the other two into the office.

"I don’t need your help, Cadman!" he shouted after her before glaring at John. "And I don’t need that look either."

"Me? Look? No look here." John grinned. "How ‘bout we go get that room so we can talk about this in private?" He nudged Rodney to follow Laura and Radek to check in.

Rodney snorted but nodded. "After you, Col—John."

"You just want to stare at my ass," John accused before walking inside the motel rental office.

"And do you have a problem with this?" Rodney muttered as first Lorne and Parrish, then Radek and Laura got their keys from the desk person.

"Actually, I’m pretty glad about it." John held up the key before slowly pacing toward Rodney. "Last chance. We have two days leave, and spending them in bed sounds good to me."

"If we’re going to spend two days together in bed, I’d much rather be somewhere comfortable rather than the roach motel here."

"So how ‘bout we have the appetizer here and then go someplace with room service, like the hotel we’re already staying at, for the rest of our leave?"

Rodney’s eyebrows rose. "Do you see me arguing?"

"That may be a first, but I’m going to enjoy it. And you."

"Not until you get the room, you aren’t."

John jingled the key he was still holding up. "Then we need to get ourselves into it so we can discuss who’s getting into who first."

Rodney caught the key so that he could see the number on the fob and started to walk in that direction. "And who gets to disinfect the sheets!" he called back laughingly.

"I promise to wash you very thoroughly once we get somewhere else," John chuckled, leering comically.

"Hrmm, I’m looking forward to it, and I just realized that, in the absence of lube, we may just be putting out mouths where our money is, so to speak."

John frowned. "Good point. At least it ensures that we won’t be tempted to stay long. I’ve been dreaming about this too long to give up anything."

Rodney reached the door and turned to look back at John, smiling slightly even though he wrinkled his nose at the bugs flying around the light outside. "I’ll have to agree with that; this will take the edge off, and then we can go where we don’t have to worry about things crawling over us."

"Yeah, the only crawling over you is going to be me." John unlocked the room, and they both peered inside. "Hey, it’s not too bad inside," John said, surprised.

"They must put the money into the interior," Rodney commented as he stepped inside, still looking as if he was waiting for a giant bug to jump out at him—or more possibly at John.

"Hey, if _I’m_ not worrying about bugs, you shouldn’t be," John chuckled after shutting and locking the door behind them.

"Maybe I’m worried about the fact that if there are bugs, they’re going to jump you, and I’d rather be the one to do that." As he spoke, Rodney turned around and closed the distance between the two of them to pull John in for a kiss.

"Please, jump away," John murmured against Rodney’s lips. He slid his arms around Rodney, his hands moving down to cup the round ass and draw him closer.

"I did, didn’t you notice?" Rodney murmured, deepening the kiss before wincing. "Ow."

"Ow? Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for."

"Normally not the reaction I give, but considering one of those cretins plowed his fist into my mouth earlier, it’s understandable." Rodney ran his tongue over his swollen lip. "But that doesn’t mean I want you to stop."

"That’s going to make blowjobs pretty uncomfortable," John said before leaning in to lick Rodney’s lip as well.

"I’ll manage to persevere," Rodney whispered before sucking John’s tongue into his mouth and pulling him closer.

"I’ll have to reward your bravery," John moaned, rocking against him.

"Naked rewards would be better." As he spoke, he worked a hand under John’s shirt and up his back.

"Good plan." John nibbled and sucked at Rodney’s throat while unbuttoning the other man’s shirt.

Rodney shivered when John’s hands slid under the cotton and over his chest, and he pulled back to shrug out of his shirt, then grab for John’s, leaving his hair even more messy than usual as it came off over his head. John’s eyes darkened, and he ran his hands over Rodney’s bare chest, fingers teasing the erect nipples.

"This needs to move to the bed," Rodney rasped, hooking his fingers in the waistband of John’s jeans and tugging as he walked backwards.

"An even better plan." John reached for the waist of Rodney’s pants, unfastening them as they made their slow way to the bed.

"Of course it is, it’s my plan," Rodney chuckled before reciprocating, undoing John’s jeans and letting them slide low on his hips.

"Have I mentioned how hot I think it is when you get all superior?" John said, eyes warm with amused affection. He thrust forward into Rodney’s hand, gasping at the touch on his hardening cock, even through his boxer-briefs.

Rodney groaned and his hips twitched as his own pants slid to the floor before he leaned in, trapping both their hands between their bodies. "I’ll try to do it more often, then."

John’s eyes widened in horror. "You don’t need to tell anyone you’re doing it for me," he said with an undertone of desperation. If anyone found out he was responsible for Rodney getting even more arrogant, there would be a mass uprising leading to his slow and painful demise.

Rodney had to chuckle at that even as he slid his hand inside John’s boxer briefs to stroke his erection. "Don’t worry, Colonel. I’ll keep you safe."

"And hard, it seems," John laughed breathlessly. "It’s going to make briefings interesting."

"If it’s any consolation, I’ll be the same way," Rodney gasped.

"That’s just going to make me even harder!"

"Elizabeth’s going to be surprised at how short her meetings get."

"Or how often one of us drops our pen."

"And how long it takes us to pick them up."

"Great, now pens are going to make me hard too."

"Well, if it’s any consolation, watching you play with your guns always does it for me, and are we going to stop talking and start with the frottage or blowing or whatever we planned on doing before moving to more comfortable accommodations?"

With both of them finally naked, John tumbled Rodney onto the bed and kissed him before saying, "Sixty-nine’s my favorite number," and turning around.

Rodney snickered before leaning in to lick a stripe up John’s cock. "Why does this not surprise me?"

"Because you’re a genius." John inhaled sharply, then copied Rodney’s move.

"Ex—oh—exactly." Rodney gave up talking and concentrated on John’s shaft, closing his lips over the flared head and sucking lightly while his hands cupped John’s ass, pulling him closer.

Again, John copied what Rodney did, but then he made the next move by letting his hands slide over Rodney’s ass, his fingertips feathering over the sensitive crevice between the rounded cheeks. The touch made Rodney moan, and he took John’s cock deeper into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hard flesh even as he pushed back against John’s hands.

John’s moan vibrated around Rodney’s cock at the same moment that the tip of one finger pushed inside the scientist, teasing him with the promise of what was to come, and this time it was Rodney’s turn to copy John, licking his finger before pressing it against the tight entrance to his body.

A soft whimper escaped one of them, neither was sure whom, and they continued sucking and finger-fucking each other until John suddenly tensed and gasped as he came.

Rodney swallowed down the spurts of liquid, suckling on John’s cock until a stab at his own prostate had him groaning and coming as well.

Once he’d caught his breath, John twisted around so that they were face to face and kissed Rodney, each of them tasting himself in the other’s mouth. "We’re definitely spending this leave in bed, once we get back to our hotel."

"Room service is our friend," Rodney murmured, stroking his hands over John’s back and breathing a sigh of contentment at the way they fit together.

"Definitely. We can take turns getting up for it." John nuzzled Rodney’s cheek, reveling in the freedom to touch him however he wanted.

"Of course, to implement these plans, we need to get up from here," Rodney chuckled.

"But that involves moving," John groaned.

"Which will lead to more moving later on."

John thought about that. "Good point. But moving still isn’t my idea of fun." He reluctantly sat up, his hand resting on Rodney’s shoulder.

Rodney leaned into the touch and smiled. "Mine either, but doing it gets us to where we _don’t_ have to move, plus we can bang on Radek’s door on the way out."

"You do realize Cadman’s probably armed, right?" John laughed.

"No, she isn’t," Rodney replied smugly. "If she was, she would have pulled it in the bar."

"I don’t think any of us wanted to turn a fistfight into a gunfight," John exclaimed, looking horrified. "Just behave and concentrate on me. Forget Radek."

"Spoilsport."

"I’ll let you play with me instead."

Rodney quirked a grin at that. "That I can live with, but we need to get out of here and to a real hotel!"

"Yeah, a shower would be good, but there’s no way I’m taking one here." John stood up and stretched, then offered a hand to Rodney. "Let’s get going."

"Clothes might be good as well," Rodney chuckled as he took John’s hand and stood, stroking his free palm over John’s chest.

"Well yes. I wasn’t planning to walk out of here naked," John snorted. "I was just trying to get you on your feet."

"And your plan worked very well, so let’s get dressed and get out of here!"

"Yes sir!" John snapped off a salute before grabbing his pants and pulling them on.

Rodney snickered as he got dressed as well, sitting down on the bed to pull his shoes on. "So you can follow orders."

"When I like them." John grinned before shrugging into his shirt and buttoning it up over his dog tags.

"I’ll remember that." Rodney stood again, bouncing on the balls of his feet and rubbing his hands together with anticipation.

"A little eager there, McKay?" John chuckled. He glanced around to make sure they weren’t forgetting anything, then started toward the door. "Let’s go somewhere we actually want to stay."

Rodney followed hot on John’s heels as they crossed the parking lot to the SUV they’d driven over from Cheyenne Mountain. "I hope they have enough for cab fare," he commented as they climbed in.

"If not, Atlantis won’t be far enough for us to run," John chuckled.

"I’m trusting you to save my life, Colonel!"

"Considering that we’re just getting started, I can guarantee it."

Rodney grinned and reached over to pat John’s thigh. "I like that answer."

"Glad to hear it. This works a lot better when we’re both participating."

"Thank you for that information, I never would have guessed."

"And you call yourself a genius."

"Snideness will not get you in my pants," Rodney sniffed.

"No, but I’ll bet licking your nipples will."

Rodney froze and sucked in a breath before swallowing and licking his lips.

"Thought so," John said smugly.

"Idiot," Rodney grumbled.

"And insults won’t get my mouth on you."

"I was hoping for other parts the next time around."

"I think your chances are pretty good," John chuckled. Rather than speeding up as he usually did at a yellow light, he slowed to a stop and leaned over to kiss Rodney.

"Oh good," Rodney murmured against his mouth, "I’d hate to think that you’re a tease."

"No, that would give me a bad reputation." John nipped gently at Rodney’s lower lip before sitting up and facing forward just in time to drive away as the light turned green.

"As opposed to the one you have now."

"Which is not for being a cocktease!"

Rodney thought about the statement for a moment, then nodded. "Hrmmm, you do have a point, Colonel."

"Mensa," John chuckled, knowing how much it irritated Rodney.

"If you aren’t a member, you can’t cite it," Rodney sniffed.

"But I passed the test," John pointed out.

"But you didn’t join."

"Which I think makes me even smarter!"

Rodney sighed and leaned back against the car seat. "You amaze me, Colonel."

"That’s because I’m a really amazing guy." John pulled into the underground parking at their hotel. "And I plan to show you just how amazing I can really be."

Rodney’s lips quirked into a crooked grin at that. "I’m looking forward to that, and to showing you just how creative _I_ can be."

Imagining that intent focus he’d so often seen aimed at _him_ , John shivered. "I think we need a longer leave."

"As appealing as that is, I’m looking forward to going back home."

"Good point. And it’s not like we won’t be able to keep doing this once we’re back."

"Just not on the trip back." 

"Which sucks. But it’ll still be better than a Wraith virus, and we’ll have something to look forward to."

"My browbeating the new staff?" 

"Keep it up and that’s all you’ll have to look forward to," John retorted, chuckling.

"If I believed that, I might be worried."

"Not very believable, huh? I guess I’ll have to find a better way to distract you if I want you to believe things like that."

Rodney quirked a crooked grin. "Why do I think that you’re going to be an expert at distracting me?"

"Because I’m already planning ways to drag you out of the lab?"

Rodney gave half-hearted groan. "The city is going to sink again!"

"Only if it goes down when I do."

"Oh, god, that was horrible!"

"I thought I was pretty good at it."

"I’m not arguing the fact, just the pun."

"I guess you’ll have to distract me too then."

Rodney sighed, trying to sound aggrieved. "In the interests of keeping the city safe, I suppose I will. And, not to sound cliched, but my room or yours?"

"Mine’s closer."

"Then yours it is." Rodney waited until John had parked, then climbed out of the car.

"If we want variety, we can try yours tomorrow." John grinned as they made their way to the elevator, his gaze warm.

Rodney’s grin was crooked but genuine. "Are you saying I’m going to be able to walk tomorrow?"

"Good point. I hope you like my room." If it was possible, John’s grin widened.

When the doors closed behind them, Rodney caught John’s t-shirt in his hands and pulled him in for a kiss. "I doubt I’ll even notice it."

"I’ll do my best to live up to expectations." John pulled Rodney closer, only letting go when the elevator stopped at their floor.

"I hope you have your key card, because I doubt these doors are going to be impressed with your gene," Rodney chuckled as they reluctantly moved apart to walk down the hall.

"Yet another reason I’ll be glad to get back home. That and we’ll be able to figure something out to be together. I know Elizabeth’ll be on our side." John got his key out and swore at the door as it took a couple of tries to get it open.

"Anyone who isn’t on our side is going to get sewage showers."

"That is truly disgusting. And very impressive."

"Why thank you, Colonel; I do try."

"You succeed." As soon as they were inside, John hung the ‘do not disturb’ sign on the handle, bolted the door, and slammed Rodney against the wall, nearly devouring his mouth.

Rodney moaned into the kiss, hooking a leg around John’s thigh and pulling them closer together, grinding his body against John’s. John groaned his approval and cupped Rodney’s ass, gasping as their cocks rubbed together.

"God, John, I want you to fuck me," Rodney whispered before sucking at John’s earlobe.

"God yes." John backed toward the bed, drawing Rodney with him. "Oh fuck, the rubbers. Hang on." He nearly ran to the bathroom and wrenched his kit open, returning moments later with the condoms.

In a supreme moment of trust, Rodney shook his head. "We don’t need those."

John stilled, staring at Rodney, and then he dropped the strip on the floor and pulled Rodney into another kiss.

"What?" Rodney asked, his face flushed, once he could speak again.

"You’re incredible." One palm cupped Rodney’s cheek as John brushed a light kiss over his lips. "Thank God we finally stopped wasting time."

Rodney nodded, rubbing his face against John’s hand before turning and kissing the warm palm. John smiled faintly, letting the moment extend before he toppled Rodney onto the bed and crawled on top of him.

"We still have our clothes on," Rodney laughed.

"Yes, I did notice that. One step at a time." John rolled his hips.

Rodney moaned in answer and slid his hands under John’s shirt, making him arch his back and press into Rodney’s touch. "Oh yeah, touch me," John groaned, his own hands tugging at Rodney’s shirt.

"I _am_ ," Rodney muttered as he squirmed under John’s weight, trying to get both of them more naked than they were.

John sat up and made short work of his clothes, then turned back to Rodney to find that he’d been just as quick. "Oh yeah," he breathed, his eyes running over Rodney’s naked body.

"Lube?" Rodney asked, crawling back to the center of the bed.

"Nightstand." John pulled the drawer open and withdrew the bottle. "This’ll be much better use of it than jerking off."

"Is that how you spent your time here?" Rodney chuckled as he sprawled on his back.

"Well, it was that or watch hockey." John squeezed the slick gel onto his hand, then reached down to trace the cleft between Rodney’s buttocks, grinning when Rodney raised himself slightly so John could reach more of him.

"Hockey?" Rodney’s voice broke as John pressed a finger against his ass.

"Not my thing." John watched as Rodney’s body yielded to the pressure and greedily sucked him inside, and he groaned as he imagined that tight heat on his cock.

"Hrmmm, we’ll have to have a talk about this," Rodney murmured as he arched upward, gasping when John’s finger rubbed against his prostate.

"Score!" John licked at an already hard nipple.

"Not yet you haven’t."

John crooked his finger again. "I’m setting up my shot."

"I—I’m not even trying to block that goal."

"I think the goalie’s playing for my team." John added a second finger.

"That’s because he knows what’s in it—oh fuck—for him."

"What’s in it, huh? That’d be me." John positioned himself and pressed forward, groaning as he slowly sank into Rodney’s ass, drawing a low, throaty moan from him as he wrapped his arms around John’s body.

"Oh fuck, why did we wait so long?" John stilled when he couldn’t go any farther, and he closed his eyes, concentrating on the sensations.

"I am _not_ answering that question again!"

John laughed shakily. "It was rhetorical. And we are going to do this till we can’t walk," he vowed.

"The SGC may wonder about all of us, but I don’t care."

"No, this is worth it." John slowly rocked in and out of Rodney, panting with each thrust.

Rodney nodded, stroking his hands over John’s back as he arched up, each stroke rubbing his cock against John’s stomach and leaving trails of precome in its wake.

"You feel so fucking good," John rasped, a thumb flicking one rigid nipple. "So perfect."

"Of course I am, and so are you."

John chuckled. "No one else deserves us."

In answer, Rodney rocked upward, tightening down around John’s cock and gasping as it rubbed against his prostate. John moaned, increasing the speed of his thrusts, and he caught hold of one of Rodney’s hands, lacing their fingers together.

"John..." Rodney whispered, staring up into the other man’s eyes as he came, his fingers clenching down on John’s as Rodney convulsed under him. The spasms triggered John’s climax, pushing him over the edge after only a few more strokes. He wailed Rodney’s name before muffling the cry against the scientist’s shoulder. As the last ripple of pleasure ebbed, John slumped down on top of the other man, breathing heavily.

"Don’t you dare move."

John chuckled breathlessly. "I don’t think I can."

Rodney smiled against John’s throat before nuzzling the warm, sweaty flesh there. "Good."

"At least we know Cadman will be distracting Radek so he won’t be knocking on the door just to be annoying."

"And Parrish will be on Lorne so he doesn’t do the same."

"Oh thank you, now I’m going to picture that every time I look at Lorne!" John groaned.

"And I have to picture Radek doing _Cadman_ , who was in my head!"

"At least Cadman’s hot!"

"She was in my head, John; that’s too close to masturbation for comfort!"

Trying not to laugh, John kissed him. "So stick to thinking about me instead."

"That... is a much better idea, Colonel," Rodney chuckled, grinning.

"I’m so glad you approve. I know similar thoughts are going to make briefings a lot more interesting for me."

"I think we’ve already discussed how distracting those are going to be."

"True, but it’s a mental image worth repeating at every opportunity."

"Hrmm, good point." Rodney kissed him again.

"Of course, reality is a lot better," John said when he could speak again.

"Another good point." Rodney grinned and repeated the reward.

"You really won’t be able to walk tomorrow if you get me hard again while I’m still in you," John pointed out a little breathlessly.

"Are we going anywhere?"

"Yet another good point." John pressed his hips against Rodney, groaning as he felt himself stir.

Rodney smirked and tightened down around him. "I’m full of them."

"That’s not all you’re full of," John snickered.

"Not quite full yet, but I have faith in you, Colonel."

"I’ll try to live up to your expectations."

"You surpass then, John. You surpass them."

"Likewise," John said softly, lowering his head to kiss Rodney tenderly.

About to make a sarcastic comeback, Rodney was distracted by the kiss and put all his energy into it, laving and sucking on John’s tongue before following it back into his mouth, making John groan and rock against him.

One of John’s hands slid between them, and he smiled when he found Rodney’s stirring cock. Rodney gasped, arching up into the knowing touch, groaning into John’s mouth.

"Mine," John breathed against Rodney’s lips, his other hand sliding under Rodney as he rose, his fingertips lightly stroking the sensitive flesh straining around his growing erection.

"Remember that the next time a space slut comes on to you," Rodney growled, his hands tightening on John’s back.

"I’ll run and hide behind you," John promised.

" _Very_ good answer." To prove that, Rodney kissed him again.

"Besides, it’s a moot point since we’re never going to leave this bed again," John chuckled.

"That might make it hard to get back to Atlantis," Rodney chuckled. "Even _I_ might have a problem making a ZPM and gate from the things in this room."

"We’ll call Ronon to come and get us, bed and all," John laughed.

"Mmm, that would work as long as he doesn’t see your naked ass."

"You’re nuts!" John was shaking with laughter, his hazel eyes sparkling. "I really don’t think he has the slightest interest in my ass."

"That’s because you haven’t seen him watching it, though he watches Teyla’s the same way; if I wasn’t so secure, I’d feel hurt that he didn’t watch me the same way."

"Be glad he doesn’t," John growled. "’Cause if he did, I’d have to shoot him, and we don’t want to have to find another fourth team member who fits with us."

"No shooting the man-mountain," Rodney soothed, stroking his hands down John’s back to cup his ass.

"One of these days you’re going to say that when he’s in a bad mood, and he’s going to try to squash you like a fly; you know that, right?"

Rodney smiled smugly. "You’ll protect me."

John laughed wryly. "And you’re going to take advantage of that, aren’t you?"

"Genius here, what do you think?"

"Genius here too," John reminded him. "I don’t think; I know."

"Then why did you ask?"

John shrugged, which made for some interesting vibrations since he was fully hard inside Rodney again. "Just making conversation," he said, trying not to laugh at Rodney’s expression.

Rodney took a deep breath that he told himself wasn’t a gasp and tried to scowl up at John.

"You don’t want me to talk to you?" John tried for a hurt tone.

"Don’t try that little boy pouting with me!"

The pout deepened, and now the puppy dog eyes were added.

"I am _not_ one of your bimbos!" Rodney protested, though he was caving quickly.

"No, you’re my best friend and my lover." Now there was a faint undertone of true hurt.

All cynicism dropped away from Rodney’s expression, and he gave John a gentle kiss, hugging him tightly. "I feel the same way; no one has ever meant as much to me."

John raised a hand to cup Rodney’s cheek, gazing down into the blue, blue eyes. "I love you too," he said softly, causing Rodney’s eyes to widen in alarm.

"I didn’t—no, no, I meant that," he said resolutely.

"Which I think is a pretty good thing, since in case you missed it, I said I love you too."

"I know that!" Rodney said sharply before sucking in a deep breath. "I’m sorry; I do and I know you do too."

John started to laugh, making Rodney scowl again. "What is so funny?"

"Only you would get pissed at a moment like this, and it’s just so perfectly us." John grinned at him.

"That I’m annoyed and you’re laughing like a loon?"

"Yup." John’s grin widened, and he rocked his hips forward to improve Rodney’s mood.

"I—oh—I can live with that." Rodney’s brow smoothed out as he arched up under John’s weight, tightening his arms around his back.

"Glad to hear it." John bit gently on Rodney’s jaw line.

"I love you," Rodney said suddenly, getting the words out before he bit them back again.

The smile that blossomed on John’s face then made the one he’d worn the day they’d experimented with the personal shield look cold, and Rodney tilted his head to the side, staring up at him, giving a tenuous smile in return.

"This trip has turned out a lot better than I could ever have dared hope."

"It might be even better if you’d _move_."

"I think I could manage that." John suited action to his words and slowly pulled back until he was in danger of slipping out of Rodney completely, then pushed forward again, making Rodney moan and clutch at him, his hips arching off the bed in an effort to deepen the contact.

"Jesus, you feel good," John rasped, lowering his head to nuzzle at a rigid nipple.

"Not my name," Rodney mumbled before gasping again and clenching down around John’s cock, his own erection hard and tight against his belly.

"Smartass," John chuckled shakily. He repeated the motion, fighting to keep a slow pace.

"Any—anything else would bore you.’

"Good point." John took Rodney’s mouth again at the same moment that he drove in as deep as he could go, making Rodney moan and buck up underneath him, arms and legs clenching down around him as they slammed together.

"Oh fuck." John lost his battle for a slow, torturous pace and began to fuck Rodney hard and fast, moaning desperately with every stroke.

"John, god, John, yes," Rodney whimpered, meeting every stroke, his fingers digging into John’s back as they slammed together, his dripping erection pressed between them every time they came together.

John lowered himself slightly so that his belly rubbed over Rodney’s cock with every moment, fighting to make Rodney come.

"John." The word was a throaty whimper as Rodney tightened around him and spasmed, his come splattering both of their chests as his sobbing gasps filled their ears.

John shuddered, his body tightening as Rodney rippled around him, drawing a wild cry from deep inside him. He continued slamming into Rodney’s body until his own climax overwhelmed him, making him yell wordlessly as the intense pleasure radiated through him.

Rodney smiled up at him through half-lidded eyes that were quickly closing as he squirmed slightly, his legs sliding down John’s to circle his calves. John smiled sleepily in return, tucking his head under Rodney’s chin as his own eyes fluttered shut.

END


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